Jokers Guide To The Top 20: Top 20 Illegal Way To Make Money

Alert Pay

Jokers Search Engine


Thursday, February 10, 2011

Top 20 Illegal Way To Make Money

The following list is ILLEGAL ways to make money. Let me make this perfectly clear I do not agree with any of these ways to make money it is wrong and you should be ashamed of yourself if you even think of doing this. But honestly I had fun writing this. As always if I missed something or you have a list, leave a comment below.

1. Drugs
          Selling drugs, Buying drugs, Moving drugs, basically anything to do with drugs will get you money … the bad side being that most drug dealers will probably kill you if you do something wrong, Or because their high!
2. Prostitution
          Ladies and gents need I say more open up your legs to a few ugly people and watch the dollars roll in. (I say ugly people because they would be the only ones in need of a prosty or those with sick fetishes) so rock up to St. Kilda and get your freak on!!
3. Street Racing
This one involves some serious skill although all you really have to do is drive dirty and it shouldn’t be a problem. Although having a seriously tricked out car would probably help as well.
4. Theft
          Your parents, relatives, people off the street, stores, it doesn’t matter who it is, where it is or when all that matter is your either clever enough to go unnoticed or your fast enough to get away.
5. Tax Fraud
You will actually have to earn enough money to pull this off but also if you take cash in hand the government doesn’t need to know. Be warned the government does not like this and will fuck you up if you get found out.
6. Credit Card Fraud
          Create a will say persona that may or may not exist. Get some credit cards in this persona’s name and you’re in business. Although be warned about cameras so maybe going online at your local shopping centre and buying a few nice presents to be delivered at a post office would be a good idea.
7. Mugging
          Anyone can purchase a knife these days, just go up to a person on the street, maybe not the 6ft3 guy whose on steroids, take out the knife and demand money. Simple and easy. You most likely wont get much but seeing as your already there you may as well get there jewellery and such.
8. Pick-Pocket
          The train station would be your best chance of attack. If you go up to people and say “look out someone on the other platform got pick pocketed they say it’s been happening all day” people will instinctively tap their wallet and belongings. Now you know where they keep it use you light fingers and take what should be yours.
9. Hired Muscle
          Get to the gym, tune your arms to massive (Steroids will help) and go find a drug dealer or a pimp (there not that hard to find) offer your services.
10. Taking Payoff/Bribes
          Whether your in a position of power or a team member of a sporting club. We all know how to look the other way.
11. Underground Gambling
Although they might be hard to find they do exist and if you have an eye for talent it wont be hard to get some cash.
12. Fight Club
          Put those karate lessons you got as a child into some use, have a few shots of something hard and enter the ring. Fight just a little bit dirty, to be the winner. Just make sure your hospital bills don’t out way your winnings.
13. Cock Fights
          Get a cock, strap those razorblades on and get ready to rumble. Starving the rooster as well as provoking it may prove beneficial although inhumane.
14. PIMP
          Grab some girls from the strippers offer them a deal you know you won’t keep and you got yourself a possie of whores ready to go out and get you money. Keeping your whores in line is the problem and that’s where the hired muscle could be handy.
15. Hostage
          Long story short grab some reasonably wealthy families kid and hold him till you get money. Be warned you cannot expect to get money if this kids family lives in a housing development and goes down to centerlink everyday!!
16. Chop Shop
          Whether you jack cars and work with the shop this will be a great source of cash.
17. Insurance Fraud
          Step 1: Go to your insurance firm
Step 2: Leave with a large pay off if you die
Step 3: Fake your death
Step 4: Get someone close to claim money and live happily ever after.
18. Smuggler
Someone is always trying to find people to put drugs up their bums fly to another country and delivery the drugs, cos really besides gays who really wants a package up their ass.
19. Identity Fraud
Steal someone’s identity … then use it to reel up a huge amount of debt and leave the responsibilities with the original.
20. Body Part Harvester
          Universities and schools are always looking for skeletons and you wont have to look hard to find someone on the black market needing a few things like a liver or heart. And just between you and me I don’t think the bums will be missed.


  1. dude i have a bettr one i.e. Go to a cyber cafe ,get a pc [MAKE SURE THERE ARE NO CAMERAS] , try to remove its R.A.M

  2. Can someone please tell me why a person would publish an article for potentially the whole world to see if they truly feel the topic is morally wrong and shameful to even think about! A. how do you know about these things if you have never done them and B. what is worse...for your readers to think about what it would be like to do the above crimes for economic gain as they read along OR for the author to put those ideas out there in the world for someone who is desperate to read and possibly even try out. Way to go :)


  4. Shut up michele calabrese silly cow what are u doing on this site then I'm here to learn a thing or two before you reply asking why I'm on here


    Hack and take money directly from any ATM Machine Vault with the use of ATM Programmed Card which runs in automatic mode. email ( for how to get it and its cost and with the card you can get 3000$ to 5000$ daily this is like an investment
    . ..........
    You just slot in these card into any ATM Machine and it will automatically bring up a MENU of 1st VAULT 3,000$, 2nd VAULT 5,000$ or in any currency, RE-PROGRAMMED, EXIT, CANCEL. Just click on either of the VAULTS, and it will take you to another SUB-MENU of ALL, OTHERS, EXIT, CANCEL. Just click on others and type in the amount you wish to withdraw from the ATM and you have it cashed instantly... Done. ***NOTE: DON'T EVER MAKE THE MISTAKE OF CLICKING THE "ALL" OPTION. BECAUSE IT WILL TAKE OUT ALL THE AMOUNT OF THE SELECTED VAULT. email ( ... ... I have good proof to prove to you that this no scam okay just email.. ANDREWMODRIC@OUTLOOK.COM .OR Call.

    Do you also need credit and debit card information to pay bills and buy stuffs online also email or call us now to get yours +2348133945658

  6. Hello friend, my name is MR COLLINJACK i want to share my testimony on how i got my BLANK ATM card which have change my life today. i was once living on the street where by things were so hard for me, even to pay off my bills was very difficult for me i have to park off my apartment and start sleeping on the street of Vegas. i tried all i could do to secure a job but all went in vain because i was from the black side of America. so i decided to browse through on my phone for jobs online where i got an advert on Hackers advertising a Blank ATM card which can be used to hack any ATM Machine all over the world, i never thought this could be real because most advert on the internet are based on fraud, so i decided to give this a try and look where it will lead me to if it can change my life for good. i contacted this hackers and they told me they are from Australia and also they have branch all over the world in which they use in developing there ATM CARDS, this is real and not a scam it have help me out. to cut the story short this women who were geeks and also experts at ATM repairs, programming and execution who taught me various tips and tricks about breaking into an ATM Machine with a Blank ATM card.i applied for the Blank ATM card and it was delivered to me within 3 days and i did as i was told to and today my life have change from a street walker to my house, there is no ATM MACHINES this BLANK ATM CARD CANNOT penetrate into it because it have been programmed with various tools and software before it will be send to you. my life have really change and i want to share this to the world, i know this is illegal but also a smart way of living Big because the government cannot help us so we have to help our self. if you also want this BLANK ATM CARD i want you to contact her on email via; {} or you can call line +2349038420842 thank you all and god bless

  7. Is there any one want to buy kidney? then contact